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Wendy

Getting Real Responses

Ever tire of the one-word answers we get from our children, friends, co-workers, and significant others?

Try changing the question you ask!


This list is focused on parents and their children, but the same principles apply to everyone: significant others, co-workers, family, and friends.


The title could be changed to:


"5 Things to Ask Others Instead of 'How was your day?'"



Focus on asking open ended questions that require more than one word to respond.


Instead of: How are you? (Most people reply with, "Good.")

Ask: Tell me about your day.


Instead of: How was the meeting/test/event? (Most people reply with, "Good" or "Okay".)

Ask: Tell me about the meeting/test/event.


Instead of: How are you feeling? (Often, people reply with, "Fine.")

Ask: What are some highs/lows you feel today?


Instead of: What's wrong? (Often, people reply with, "Nothing.")

Ask: Tell me what's on your mind.


Instead of: Have you finished ----?" (Most people reply with, "Yes" or "Almost", even though it may not be true.)

Ask: What steps have you completed to finish ----? What do you have left to do to finish ----?


By asking open-ended questions, others are compelled to answer in at least one complete sentence, providing more information and leading to increased dialogue. More conversation fosters better relationships, and stronger relationships yield better outcomes, whether personally, such as happiness, trust, connection, or professionally, such as productivity, growth, success.



Communication is the core of all relationships. To improve communication, focus on asking questions in ways that facilitate increased sharing. Inquire with the intent of obtaining real responses that truly provide insights into the feelings and thoughts of others. You'll see positive outcomes that impact the environment and the people within it.

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